


Straight

by UnicornFlowers (orphan_account)



Series: Kuroken because I Kurocan [12]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (with very little plot but hey what are you gonna do?), Akaashi Keiji is a Good Friend, But it has a happy ending anyway so don't worry, Fluff, I'M SO SAPPY HELP, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Mess, Light Angst, Like so light it's barely there, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, and they were ROOMMATES
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:20:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26778016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/UnicornFlowers
Summary: "I swear to god I meant to say 'I love you!'""And instead you said?""I told him I was straight, okay?!"
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Series: Kuroken because I Kurocan [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1975318
Comments: 4
Kudos: 151





	Straight

♡

"I swear to god I meant to say 'I love you!'" 

"And instead you said?" 

"I told him I was straight, okay?!" 

"Oh to be an emotionally repressed gay," Akaashi sighed tiredly, rubbing the bridge of his nose as Kuroo paced in front of him. 

He honestly didn't know why Kuroo felt the need to come to _him_ of all people with this issue. I mean, he _knew_ , but that didn't mean he had to like it. Akaashi knew that, normally, Bokuto would be Kuroo's first call when he had an issue so personal, but Bokuto was a child and maybe, _just maybe,_ Kuroo felt more comfortable talking to someone who was... _in the same situation..._ so to speak. But just because Akaashi had been harboring a secret and very damning crush on his best friend from high school for far too long now, didn't mean they were in the same situation. 

Obviously, they weren't! Akaashi never claimed to be straight. 

"Excuse me! Pot calling the kettle black?!" Kuroo's eyes narrowed dangerously and Akaashi honestly didn't have the energy for this fight, especially not at one in the morning. 

His brain was going in circles about why Kuroo would choose to do this in person instead of over the phone. He knew that Kenma and him shared an apartment, but couldn't he just go to a different room instead of driving in the dead of night to Akaashi's apartment to bother him? 

"This isn't about me, Kuroo. You're the one who's bothering me at one in the morning about your love life," _Nice pivot_. It wasn't, but both men let that fact slide because Akaashi wanted to get some actual sleep and Kuroo had made it clear that he wasn't leaving until he got the sage life advice he was seeking. 

It annoyed Akaashi because, despite the fact that out of the two people Kuroo was close enough with to talk about this with he was objectively more mature, it didn't mean he could offer Kuroo the answer he wanted. 

"I don't understand. He was _telling_ you he wanted you like that and you said literally the one thing that makes a relationship with him impossible?" 

This really wasn't helping. Kuroo huffed out a pout with narrow eyes, folding his arms across his chest. 

"Thanks, I really needed that," Sarcasm gave Kuroo's voice a bitter edge. He was genuinely looking for good advice on this one. 

Kuroo had liked Kenma since their freshman year of high school, and he had _loved_ Kenma since he met him. Think of all the things that could ruin a confession of love. Now, think of all the ways to fix those things. Yeah, what Kuroo said was none of those things because all of those things could be fixed. How do you backtrack from 'I'm straight'?! 

"Please, Akaashi. I need your help! You _know_ how long I've-"

"Been desperately in love with your best friend?" Akaashi supplied helpfully. 

"Yes," the former Nekoma captain sneered before quickly dismissing the setter's snide remark. "How the _fuck_ am I supposed to take back 'I'm straight'?!" Kuroo had really fucked this one up. 

"Well, when and how did you say it?" Akaashi was starting to lose his grip on sleep, both a good and bad thing. 

On the one hand, he was finally starting to be able to genuinely engage with the conversation instead of just repeating the same exhausted questions. But on the other, he wouldn't be getting back to sleep after this. His brain was annoyingly finicky like that. So he settled for starting the process of making some tea. This was going to be a long night. 

"Okay, so we were just watching a movie and, you know, doing what we normally do. Like, he was sitting next to me and I had my arm around his shoulders and it was _normal,"_ Kuroo stressed the normalcy of the whole evening up until possibly the worst-best moment of Kuroo's life. "And then he just looked at me and he said something like, _'Kuroo would you ever kiss me?'_ and then he leaned in and kind of put a hand on my thigh and he was literally _this_ close to kissing me..." Kuroo's fingers were nearly touching as he illustrated his point before he was suddenly collapsing onto Akaashi's side chair, hands coming up to shield his face. Partially because of the embarrassment, partially from shame. "And then I totally freaked and I told him I was straight." 

"And then you ran away," Akaashi correctly, _annoyingly_ , filled in the missing piece. Kuroo's cheeks burned with red-hot embarrassment and something almost akin to fear settled itself in the pit of his stomach. 

"He looked like he was about to cry or murder me! Or both!" It was really a horrible look that Kenma gave him, a look that made Kuroo's heart twist in his chest, and tears spring to the back of the middle blocker's eyes. He hated seeing Kenma in so much pain, and knowing he was the cause of it felt like a knife to the gut...but what was he supposed to do? Kuroo was a coward in his best moments when it came to Kenma, in his worst he was a total asshole. "And I...I couldn't even look at him. He was just so...sad..." 

Akaashi turned with a sigh at the watery tone of Kuroo's voice. He'd only ever seen the middle blocker cry a few times in the many years he'd known him, but never over something as trivial as emotions. Though, he supposed, standing to lose the person who meant everything to you was a terrifying possibility at best. If it was Bokuto in Kenma's place, Akaashi had no idea how he would react. And for the first time of that night, Akaashi felt something more akin to sympathy than annoyance toward his friend. 

"Have you ever considered just...being honest with him? Telling him how you really feel? The genuine truth?" Akaashi knew it must sound horribly hypocritical coming from a man who could fix all his own problems just by following his own advice, but who really followed their own advice? Plus, this was the best he had to offer his friend. Akaashi turned back to the stove as the water began to boil. "You're always smothering your emotions to avoid heartbreak. Which you shouldn't even try to deny, because I know you. I know I'm not as close to you as Koutarou, but I _know_ you." 

"And what do you propose I say to him? 'Sorry? I'm actually really gay? For you specifically?'" Kuroo sighed out. Kenma wouldn't take that. Kenma wasn't the kind of person just to give in because Kuroo managed to wring an apology from strangled lips. Because Kuroo knew very well that Kenma wasn't the kind of person to just forget everything because you said 'I'm sorry.' People thought he was just a passive observer, but Kenma Kosume was way stronger than people gave him credit for. "Kenma wouldn't take bullshit like that."

"Well, is it bullshit?" No, obviously it wasn't. Kuroo wouldn't even be in Akaashi's apartment at this ungodly hour of the morning while both of them should be sleeping if he wasn't a tortured homosexual masquerading (not very well, I might add) as a bad straight-friend. 

"NO! I just mean...He's not a pushover. He's not going to forgive me just because I manage to choke out an apology," Despite the empathy, Akaashi felt for his friend, Kuroo really could be _stupid_ sometimes. God, if Bokuto actually tried to _kiss_ him, he'd probably be down on one knee by now. But no, here was his stupid friend at his apartment at one in the morning because he was _stupid._

"Then choke out more than an apology. Kuroo, Kenma values the truth. He values you even more, okay?" Kuroo didn't move. Like a statue he stayed put, thoughts paralyzing him. "This is _Kenma_ we're talking about." 

And that was exactly the problem. It was _Kenma_ they were talking about. 

☾

Kuroo got home at two. In the morning, just to clarify. 

Naturally, Kenma was still up despite Kuroo having warned him about the effects of sleep deprivation on the brain and whatever else. Kenma never listened. It was a cornerstone of their relationship. But Kuroo didn't mind. It made him feel like he still had a reason for being here, like there was still some reason he and Kenma lived together even though Kenma was making more than enough money to move out on his own just from streaming. Maybe Kenma still wanted him. 

Kuroo quickly snapped his eyes shut to erase that thought, resetting his brain back to a time when he was still thinking with his head. 

It was hard though, with Kenma sitting there, head tilted lazily to the side, exposing his neck where Kuroo would like to drop soft kisses. _I'm home,_ he might whisper after a long day of literally running across campus because he woke up late and missed his bus. But Kenma would be there when he got home - probably bundled in Kuroo's old Nekoma hoodie in the winter because he was always freezing or wearing one of Kuroo's t-shirts in the summer. They were big enough to slip off his shoulders and he had the audacity to act like he wasn't driving his roommate insane. 

He might wrap Kenma in his arms and take comfort in the fact that this was waiting for him, this warmth, this safety, a light at the end of the tunnel each day so that he wasn't stumbling blindly around in the dark. And maybe they would order takeout because Kuroo could cook like a pro but seemed to lose all motivation to move when the prospect of making dinner came up. And maybe they would watch a movie that they enjoyed even though it got really bad ratings. And maybe they would fall asleep together, with Kuroo pressing soft kisses to the crown of his _boyfriend's_ head. _I love you,_ they would say. And maybe...maybe instead of waking up to the sound of Kenma padding out from the room across the hall, he would wake up to a warm body pressed against his chest and golden eyes syrupy with sleep-

 _Time to hit the reset button, Tetsuro,_ Kuroo closed his eyes. 

"Hey," Words were flimsy things, Kuroo found. Maybe they wouldn't be if there was enough time to say all the things he wanted to. 

Maybe if they didn't take up so much space, it'd be easier. But all that filled the silence between them now was a causal greeting reserved for acquaintances you might bump into at a coffee shop. 

"Hey," Kenma responded in kind, but his voice was too light, too unbothered, like he hadn't just tried to kiss his roommate only for said roommate to claim heterosexuality and quite literally run away. 

To be honest, it worried Kuroo. Kenma was always passive-aggressive, but usually, Kuroo could tell when he was angry. Right now, he got nothing. 

There was a brief pause, like someone had stopped the music and they were being thrown back to reality for a shocking second, in which Kuroo tried to think of the flimsy words that would make this right. 

Maybe it would be easier if Kenma could just read minds instead of having this clumsy form of communication. 

So much got lost in words because, no matter how many you invented, there weren't words for everything. Not for emotions, not proper ones anyway. You could describe the way Kenma made Kuroo feel as _love._ But it was more than that. It was a most potent drug and Kuroo was fatally addicted. 

"I'm...I'm sorry," He finally decided on. Ironic how, despite the weakness of words, they were still so hard to get out, like dragging your voice through molasses. He sounded hollow to his own ears because _that's not what I mean._ But his brain didn't listen and his mouth kept moving despite his better instincts. "For...well, you know what happened."

"Why are you sorry? I'm not mad at you," On some level, this isn't what Kuroo wanted. It's certainly not what he expected. But maybe, he thought, maybe it would just be easier if Kenma was mad at him. Yelling and screaming were far easier than explaining himself.

Kuroo never _wanted_ Kenma to be mad at him. It was a horrible feeling because there was nothing you could do for the smaller boy except let it play out. Kenma would come around in his own time and no amount of apologizing or promises to make it up to him would cause him to stop being mad at you. One day, he would be completely ignoring you, the next day, things would be normal. It was just a matter of having the patience to stick with it. 

But right now, it was harder for the conflict to be so internal. If there was one person Kuroo had yet to win an argument against, it was himself. If Kenma wasn't mad at him, why did he still have this sinking feeling that something wasn't right? Why was he still hurting? Kenma should've told him he wasn't mad and Kuroo would be content with that and that would be the end of it and they could go back to the way things _were._

"You're not?" _Stupid_ Kuroo. He didn't want the way things were _._

"Kuro, your sexuality is your sexuality. I'm gay. You're not. I should be the one apologizing for trying to kiss you," Kuroo wrinkled his nose at how matter-of-fact Kenma sounded. _I'm sorry for not kissing you back,_ was what he wanted to say. He wanted to say, _give me a break, I'm a fucking coward. Take it slow, I just need some time to adjust._ But he didn't because Kenma's next words stung, forcing Kuroo to swallow the words on the tip of his tongue. "Can we just forget it ever happened?" _I don't want to._

"No- Kenma, I'm trying to say- I just- I'm sorry, okay?" Small words, small, individually inconsequential words. 

Kuroo was better than this. God, he was _smart_. Or he was supposed to be. Everyone had always told him he was, but this most recent event was causing him to doubt the validity of that statement. 

"I literally just told you, you don't have to apologize for being straight," There was frustration seeping into Kenma's voice now as he momentarily paused whatever game he was playing that lit up the TV screen, tossing his controller haphazardly to the side. 

He turned around in his seat so he could face Kuroo with narrowed eyes that reflected skepticism. 

"I'm not apologizing for being straight!" Kuroo cringed at his own words. _That makes out SOUND STRAIGHT, you fucking idiot._

"Then why do you keep saying you're sorry?!" Kenma perched himself on his knees, using the back of the couch for support as he narrowed those pretty eyes of his. Kuroo instinctively tightened his jaw in response to the hostility. 

Kenma wasn't a loud person in any respect, but his narrowed eyes and lips pulled into a pouty frown spoke volumes louder than any words he could use. It was almost worse. Kuroo felt like his blood was being set on fire as the words escaped him suddenly - a reaction more than a conscious thought about the subject. Kuroo was always reactive to Kenma. 

"Because I _lied,_ okay?!"

"About what?!" 

"ABOUT BEING STRAIGHT!" Another reaction. Another unconscious thought. Maybe he really was stupid. Maybe he was just hiding behind the facade of intelligence to ignore the fact that he was really _stupid._ Stupid in love. Stupid at feelings. Stupid for Kenma. 

"What?" Kenma's voice was so soft, Kuroo barely heard the one-word question. 

Kuroo thought for a moment. Or he tried to. His brain was basically white noise at this point. Because it's hard to think when your absolutely fucking gorgeous best friend/roommate was looking at you like _that -_ eyes wide, golden and glittering, puffed lips parted in beautiful disbelief, entire body relaxing because his brain was too preoccupied with what Kuroo had just said to think about movement. He looked halfway between crying and passing out. In what context, Kuroo couldn't tell. What he could tell was that he was the one who needed to take initiative in this situation. 

Kuroo was known for being confident. However, he felt anything but in the moment. He was confident about everything he did because he knew he was doing the right thing (and doing it damn well, he might add). But right now, as he stared at the beautiful person in front of him, he felt like he was melting. He wanted to crumble to pieces. 

He didn't though. He wasn't going to waste this chance. He wasn't going to let go of Kenma again. He'd had a million chances his entire life - every moment they'd spent alone together, every afternoon they'd spent with Kenma laying on his chest or practicing volleyball in Kuroo's backyard. Every time Kenma unconsciously laced their fingers or fell asleep on his shoulder. He could've. _I love you. Like all the stars in the sky. And there are billions, just that we can see. There's a whole universe out there we still haven't discovered. I love you as much as all of those._ But he _never_ did. Tetsuro Kuroo was possibly the most confident coward you'd ever find. 

He was in front of Kenma with a few short strides, calloused hands caging the smaller boy's as he leaned on the back of the couch for support. 

They were inches away now. Stardust crawled its way across every inch of Kuroo's skin, lighting him on fire in a beautiful way that made him ticklish all over. The image of Kenma's hand on his thigh, lips inches away just like they were in the moment, flashed through his mind. Add that to the list of wasted opportunities. 

"Can I kiss you?" The words were barely spoken, the ghost of a question that he couldn't tell if he'd actually said out loud. 

"I should tell you I'm straight and run away," Kuroo almost laughed, a smile pressed his lips, but he didn't, too scared to shatter the moment and send them crashing back to reality. Too scared that Kenma would pull away like he joked about doing, like Kuroo had done. 

Kuroo _knew_ he didn't deserve this after what he'd done. It wasn't an earth-shattering fuck-up, more of a stupid mistake that he wished anything he could take back. But it didn't stop his heart from beating a million miles an hour in his chest out of sheer anxiety. Maybe not just anxiety...maybe it had something to do with the fact that he could smell Kenma's vaguely vanilla-y scent, that he could feel the warmth radiating off his best friend. It was like Kuroo's mind was flipping through a hundred different channels, only really able to latch onto bits and pieces of thoughts. 

"Is that a yes?" Were those real words? He couldn't really tell. 

Kenma answered with his lips pressed sweet and soft against Kuroo's. Only for a split second though. The contact was chaste and fleeting. Kuroo loved it exponentially - it made his lips numb with a sickly sweet taste - but he wasn't satisfied. He wanted more, selfishly.

Maybe Kenma could see it written in his eyes because the smaller boy suddenly pulled himself up to crash his lips against Kuroo's. The feeling was bruising, like stardust was being burned against his tongue, and Kuroo was gone from the second he'd felt it. His blood melted to liquid gold, his conscious thoughts turned into static and all that remained was _Kenma._ And he didn't mind it. If he was stupid, he was okay with that. Because Kenma pressed against him like this made him _burn._ Set on fire with a hundred stars. Deliciously, fatally, addicting. 

"Mmm, you're a good kisser," Glittering affection took up the space where oxygen was supposed to fill his lungs. Kuroo liked it better this way - short of breath, lips pressed to warm, sweet, skin as he spoke habitual sarcasm into his best friend's ear. "No homo, though."

The smile blooming on those full lips - the taste of which, akin to euphoria, still stung on Kuroo's tongue - was worth more than gold. Kenma's voice dragged like molasses as he whispered, 

"Liar."

☾ ⋆*·ﾟ:⋆*·ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:·ﾟ .: ⋆*·ﾟ: .⋆


End file.
